Journey through treatment

In my case chemotherapy was extremely successful in reducing the tumour. However, they couldn’t explain how it was so successful. I keep working as a fitness instructor, and I asked a friend to cover for me the week of the chemo session when I was at my weakest physically. In my other job, which was mostly administrative, I didn’t do well; I lost interest and got frustrated easily. So, the contract ended, and I was fine with that.

In my fitness job I had a goal: if I could be able to impart my exercise and dance class until chemo session 6, I would be doing amazing. I only last until chemo session No. 5. I felt really unwell at that session, and I had to stop the class. I just wanted those 6 months to go quickly and to find out if treatment was working. So, I kept myself as busy and as normal as possible.

My physical body changed; I had hair loss. I remember dying my hair back to my natural colour to match my future wig. After my second chemotherapy session I went for a swim in Fenit, a few hours later I was unable to untie my hair due to the hair damage from chemo so the next day  I had to shave my hair completely and start to wear my wig.

Additionally at some stage I developed acne, which thankfully went away after a few weeks. I was wearing a wig every time I left the house, and I hat indoors so that my bebes didn’t get scared or worried. Despite my body mass composition, I continue to exercise in a softer way which contributed to my strength.

There was enormous support from very close friends at that time, and from some members of my family and that helped me a lot. But in general, I kept my diagnosis private from most people, even my students. In fact, I continued teaching my dance and fitness classes for 3 months through chemotherapy.

So,  after chemotherapy, there is radiation. They found the cancer spreading towards the lymph nodes, and so they have to operate on my breast with a lumpectomy.

I remember booking a holiday after the operation with my friends for two days. I could move, and I was feeling ok. Despite all, I felt happiness.

I think that what kept me going was trying to have some control over my sickness, doing what I love, being close to my loved ones and keeping myself as emotionally strong as possible. Have hope, hope that it will be better or that I can learn something from it.

That season changed everything: my body, my energy, and my emotional world. Hair loss, wearing a fantastic wig, fatigue, acne, surgery, radiation. And yet, through it all, something unexpected began to happen—an awakening.